I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Fuck appropriateness.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
