so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
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Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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