Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize