what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
