im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
