so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
