She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
