Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions

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  (408): Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions http://tfl.nu/cic0
  Replies (100) Good night (7238) Bad night (1197)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading

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  (416): So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading http://tfl.nu/2fp9
  Replies (21) Good night (3243) Bad night (950)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.

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  (812): Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse. http://tfl.nu/k7kh
  Replies (36) Good night (5028) Bad night (911)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.

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  (402): Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself. http://tfl.nu/fedc
  Replies (23) Good night (6032) Bad night (699)
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  (760): View more from California

  i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have

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  (760): i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have http://tfl.nu/ddny
  Replies (22) Good night (963) Bad night (5248)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.

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  (703): You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world. http://tfl.nu/ai3n
  Replies (8) Good night (3220) Bad night (865)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.

  (315): View more from New York

  You would pick up a guy in AA.

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  (443): He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me. (315): You would pick up a guy in AA. http://tfl.nu/v9fc
  Replies (12) Good night (3794) Bad night (976)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.

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  (304): He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex. http://tfl.nu/68r0
  Replies (17) Good night (2544) Bad night (515)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time

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  (913): Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time http://tfl.nu/0t2u
  Replies (11) Good night (1109) Bad night (585)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.

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  (614): Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part. http://tfl.nu/d1vu
  Replies (3) Good night (2091) Bad night (414)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like

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  (407): I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like http://tfl.nu/79b0
  Replies (24) Good night (717) Bad night (1208)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?

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  (850): Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean? http://tfl.nu/rbfp
  Replies (5) Good night (810) Bad night (405)
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  (408): View more from California

  do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??

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  (408): do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend?? http://tfl.nu/xsua
  Replies (6) Good night (813) Bad night (986)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear

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  (407): Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear http://tfl.nu/b5s7
  Replies (3) Good night (1114) Bad night (337)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.

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  (506): He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep. http://tfl.nu/ars8
  Replies (1) Good night (390) Bad night (313)

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