the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
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i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
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Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
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