Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head

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  (540): Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head http://tfl.nu/ec63
  Replies (2) Good night (2594) Bad night (613)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?

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  (612): he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper (952): Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it? http://tfl.nu/ydx5
  Replies (9) Good night (969) Bad night (3897)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points

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  (210): Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points http://tfl.nu/hnze
  Replies (18) Good night (6659) Bad night (788)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.

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  (606): he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman. http://tfl.nu/lhzg
  Replies (25) Good night (5117) Bad night (1798)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?

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  (206): At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall? http://tfl.nu/7soh
  Replies (11) Good night (3005) Bad night (1174)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...

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  (302): And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks... http://tfl.nu/1g5k
  Replies (13) Good night (1209) Bad night (2536)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.

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  (770): Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob. http://tfl.nu/4q4p
  Replies (9) Good night (1897) Bad night (1105)
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  (831): View more from California

  high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.

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  (831): high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth. http://tfl.nu/l561
  Replies (3) Good night (1631) Bad night (615)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm teaching my cat to play fetch

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Yep, it's a friday

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  (678): So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina (404): I'm teaching my cat to play fetch (678): Yep, it's a friday http://tfl.nu/op0w
  Replies (10) Good night (2255) Bad night (752)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.

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  (505): I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover. http://tfl.nu/48qz
  Replies (3) Good night (1683) Bad night (557)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...

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  (260): Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall... http://tfl.nu/rel8
  Replies (6) Good night (1577) Bad night (616)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.

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  (312): i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me. http://tfl.nu/c5n9
  Replies (3) Good night (1792) Bad night (397)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.

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  (423): True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do. http://tfl.nu/f7pn
  Replies (2) Good night (730) Bad night (316)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.

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  (307): Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged. http://tfl.nu/ec83
  Replies (4) Good night (828) Bad night (319)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.

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  (231): He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off. http://tfl.nu/bbw4
  Replies (4) Good night (824) Bad night (254)

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