Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...