sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
