oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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