Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.

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(650): View more from California

I feel great

(650): View more from California

I just peed on a car

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(315): View more from New York

You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.

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(518): View more from New York

She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her

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(817): View more from Texas

but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes

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