can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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