The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
