she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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