The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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