Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
