I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
