Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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