question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
