dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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