so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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