somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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