just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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