Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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