hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
