guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
