this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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