I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
