When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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