I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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