He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
