It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
