I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
