Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
