Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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