That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
