Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
How does one acquire holy water?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
