I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize