yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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