i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
