He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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