thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we're making bets on your personal life
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
