I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
