Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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