OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
