I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
