She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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