Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
