All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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