I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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