Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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