I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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