i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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