did you get engaged???
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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