im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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