you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
