the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
