feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
