The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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