I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
