It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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